I have a neighbor, N. She’s blind. I’ve seen her a couple of times mastering the streets with her white cane. Sometimes early in the morning in direction to the metro. Some other times in the afternoon, coming from the metro home.
The other day, I was going to my place from the metro and I saw N trying to go in the opposite direction. She was at the border of the sidewalk. At that time, there was a construction in progress blocking the corner. So, most of the pedestrians just moved one meter to the right to cross the street. But not N.
N walked left about 20 meters away from the corner. When I met her, she was shouting with frustration because none was there to help her cross the street. I went close to enough so she could hear that it was save to go over. When she reached the opposite sidewalk, it was of course not at the corner but where some bikes were parked preventing her to go straight.
N became louder and louder, swearing with such a desperation. I tried to help her find her way, but the only answer to my “where do you want to go?” was just a meaningless “over there, over there!”. What does “over there” mean, if nobody points a direction?
Her voice was increasing with her frustration. The people passing by, not only pretended not to hear but also not to see anything. A mother took closer her daughter (the girl was about 7), like wanting to protect her from the whole situation.
It was pointless try to reason with N. So, I just stand close enough to make sure she moved safely until she finally found the way.
As I continued going home, I was thinking if there was a way to make such situations easier for my neighbor. I could not come up with something, but suddenly, I recognized myself in that situation.
Not long ago, I was angry with the world. I used to take any, let’s say, unfortunate circumstance as personal, as a conspiration of the world against me. I was so angry, that some people preferred to ignore me, because the ones wanting to help received my anger and frustration.
I don’t know how, but at some point I realized, that it was insane to expect the world adapting to me. I only wish, adaptation were easier for everybody.
This is a very thought provoking blog Lucy. Sometimes people don't want our help, and other times they do. If they want help usually they'll ask. You'd be suprised once you ask for help how much people are willing to give. There's an old saying "You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar". Which means if you ask nicely you can get what you want or need instead of being grumpy and cross. It sounds to me that the people walking by were more afraid of N than anything if she was shouting and being crazy. She was probably panicy and not thinking right. And as far as you are concerned Ms. Lucy wonderful things can happen if you open your heart for endless possibilities and smile!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Speedy. I am really over all that anger. People now like to be around me because I also enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteMy point is, what do you do, when someone obviously needs help but that person do not accept or even recognize it herself/himself?!
I'm fairly certain if N contacted an outreach program for the blind they would help her get to the metro without all the personal peril she now faces. She's probably never asked. You can't help someone who doesn't want help. All you can so is reach out and maybe ask if she'd like to walk with you to the metro and back because you noticed her having trouble with the construction that day and you were worried for her safety. Be prepared for her to say fuck you in no uncertain terms. She doesn't sound like the kind of person who asks for help. But you are a better person for offering help to someone!! :)
ReplyDeletep.s. And cuter too!! :P